This year has passed surprisingly quickly; spring came swiftly, summer followed suit, and autumn arrived just as fast. In the blink of an eye, the Christmas tree at Sun Gate Square has been set up again. Perhaps it's because life feels more grounded now, even though this year has been filled with many experiences, the passage of time seems to have accelerated.
I have increasingly clear insights into many truths, and I am becoming more certain about the self I am approaching. Although I still experience countless emotional ups and downs, I understand that this is part of my passionate soul. I do not wish to become what is termed an emotionally stable person; rather, I want to learn to feel this world wholeheartedly without being overwhelmed by my emotions. "The world has its stars to guide the way; I only seek to make this journey worthwhile." The world has its own destiny, governed by the vast stars; I only need to ensure that I live my life without regret.
I do not know what guidance has brought me to today, but I have no regrets about everything that has happened, and I am filled with gratitude for all that I currently possess. Although I often feel that many of my views seem increasingly "politically incorrect," for me personally, this is part of my growth and gain. I realize that growth is not about suddenly understanding a truth one day; it may not be about climbing to a certain height but rather about becoming a complete person. If you are naturally drawn to black, but gradually come to appreciate the beauty of white, that is growth. If you are naturally drawn to white, but as you grow, you come to understand the beauty of black, that is also growth. According to MBTI theory, each personality has its dominant function, and growth is about developing those less adept functions to a relatively high level.
Review of 2025#
Connection Between People#
When looking forward to 2025 last year, one of my expectations was to connect with more people, and indeed, this has been the theme I have reflected on the most this year. "Human relationships are the essence of literature," I increasingly understand how lightly this phrase is said, yet how much work it actually entails. Everyone has their own life lessons, and in recent years, I have vaguely realized that at least at this stage, my life lesson is interpersonal relationships.
In this society where many opposing emotions are amplified, I increasingly realize that what I pursue is mutual understanding between people. Understanding among people from different regions, between Black and White individuals, between men and women, between the privileged and the marginalized, and between different generations... This year, I have received a lot of information related to these oppositions, and it is always distressing to see instances where people cannot understand each other.
I do not wish for people to always prioritize their positions when communicating or analyzing problems. Everyone is a person before any title. I admit that I used to prioritize positions as well, but now I only want to learn to love specific individuals; I believe this is my growth. I am unwilling to let any positional issues create rifts or even lose a relationship. If I were to answer the classic question, "Can people with differing political views be friends?" my answer today would undoubtedly be yes (but that does not mean we must be friends; whether we can be friends depends more on other qualities, such as mutual respect and caring for each other in life).
Understanding is an energy-consuming endeavor; we cannot understand everyone. However, for those we do not understand yet or do not have the energy to understand, it is best to remain silent and observe, focusing on the issue rather than the person. If we must address the person, we should avoid hastily elevating it to abstract judgments of values or positions. To put it plainly, I want to understand the other person as a way of freeing myself; I cannot harbor resentment and still sleep soundly.
I do not like the current popular notion of "subjectivity." Establishing subjectivity seems like donning armor that makes one invulnerable, but it is also a self-enclosed shell that resists mutual influence and understanding between people, preventing us from seeing a larger world. I also dislike labeling others as not understanding my arguments—for example, saying that Westerners do not understand East Asians, or that Western fantasies about East Asia are merely sexualized gazes. People are complex, and making such value judgments about a whole group is prioritizing positions. Strive to love those you believe are worth loving, and distance yourself from those who drain you. There is no need to be overly defensive, wielding a hammer and seeing everything as a nail.
Moreover, I increasingly feel that the connection I desire is in the present, in the moment, seeing your expressions and demeanor when our eyes meet. I want to experience the feelings of the moment, not just snippets of text. I used to light up at the mention of "talking about life," but now I cherish the time spent together in reality. It does not necessarily require deep conversations; there are not that many people in the world who are merely walking corpses; as long as you are present, you can see the other person's soul.
This leads to another thought: I increasingly dislike real-time communication software, or rather, I dislike how people excessively use it. On one hand, I realize that offline connections are more important to me; on the other hand, unless I set aside a significant amount of time, online communication also encroaches on my current time, even intruding on the time spent with others in reality. I am trying to practice keeping real-time online communication brief and reserving complex discussions for dedicated time, even if it means using a message board-style chat. If I can meet friends in person, I try to do so regularly; for friends far away, I can schedule video chats periodically.
Despite having many observations, practices, and reflections on interpersonal relationships this year, it is not surprising that I still have many confusions and contradictions. Overall, I am still continuously calibrating my interpersonal interaction model.
Reflection and Exploration of Language and Culture#
Undoubtedly, my progress in Spanish this year has been significant. Although I am still only at an A2 level, this progress means a lot to me. Previously, I went through a very painful process of learning English, and I never thought I had any talent for learning languages. However, this year, I finally feel that I can be a multilingual user, and I am very confident about future progress; all I lack is time. My main confidence comes from the help provided by the "comprehensible input" learning method.
Returning to the initial question—why do I want to learn Spanish? Because living here, knowing Spanish makes my life more convenient, which is one aspect, but what attracts me more is the exploration of the world. Initially, although I did not know what kind of world learning Spanish would open up for me, I knew it was something I wanted. It is hard to explain the source of this sense of belief, but now, after studying Spanish for over a year, I have never doubted it.
Language is not just a tool for communication; it carries culture. What is culture? It is what a group of people experiences in their lives. What they eat, what they like or dislike, how they make a living, what stories they tell, etc.—these are all culture. Language is important for understanding culture because it naturally serves as a barrier to information; different language worlds care about different things and tell different stories. A vivid example is that if your default language on YouTube is Spanish, the videos you encounter will be completely different from those in English. In real life, using the local language also increases the likelihood of deeper interactions with others. Even asking the simplest question, "Where are you from?" has indeed helped me gain more understanding of Madrid's culture—what kinds of people make up the community here and how they live, which is, of course, part of the culture.
Of course, language is not a necessary condition for understanding culture. We can observe with our hearts, use translation, and even communicate without needing to have a good command of the language. I am convinced that the desire to connect is more important than language itself. However, language ultimately makes the entire process more vivid and allows for a greater volume of information to be acquired. Moreover, as mentioned in the previous section, connecting with people is what I desire.
In the process of exploring different cultures, I have gained a broader understanding of the world. This not only refers to the splendor of the world but also to the diversity of values. For a long time, it seemed that my view of civilization was only pulled between the ancient Chinese civilization and Western centrism, with other stories feeling too distant. Although I understood the reasoning against Western centrism, if my world consisted only of Western centrism and Chinese civilization, and when I thought of the negative aspects of Chinese civilization, I felt as if I were falling into an abyss—how could I truly understand?
It seems that this year I have begun to concretely understand this principle. I have actively tried foods from various parts of the world outside of China and Europe, seriously experiencing the characteristics of different regional cuisines. I have started to learn about the origins of different types of peppers and where chocolate comes from. I have begun to think about whether many outdoor sports, such as skiing and hiking, are predominantly white activities. I have started to understand the history of European civilization originating from Egyptian civilization, which was heavily influenced by Nubian civilization (Black civilization). I have begun to seriously look at maps of Africa and contemplate the subtle relationship between Latin American culture and Spanish culture. I have also begun to think about how if "tropical regions have no philosophy" is a form of colonial arrogance, then how should the philosophy of the tropics be articulated, and so on.
All these reflections, combined with a temporary distance from my homeland, seem to allow me to more calmly understand the culture I come from. To be honest, I once thought that if I had a child, I would never let her mother tongue be Chinese, but now I can quote a person's self-narrative I read before: "I believe that having Chinese as a mother tongue is a gift from God."
Once this kind of reflection begins, I find that the so-called centrism that needs to be dismantled goes far beyond just Western centrism. Recently, I came across a discussion that suggested the term "unemployment" is a concept only urban people have; rural people have to farm their whole lives, and they cannot "smash" their rice bowls, as there is no such thing as unemployment. These forms of centrism essentially revolve around who holds the power of discourse. I hope to see more diversity in the world, but the more I learn, the more I realize how much I do not know. "Respect every frog's well" is a phrase I really liked this year. No one's ignorance is more worthy of ridicule than another's; each of us has our own well.
Body, Exercise, and Health#
Overall, this year has seen a more regular exercise routine. I have particularly increased my running training, and in last year's outlook, I indeed achieved the goal of running faster. Unfortunately, despite saying last year that I did not want to get injured again, I fell on my shoulder in April, and it took over half a year to recover. During that time, I was unable to engage in activities that required high shoulder mobility, and lifting heavier weights was out of the question.
At the beginning of the year, I read a book on women's training knowledge and a book on the myths of diet that I have been reading intermittently and have not finished yet, learning a lot about health-related knowledge. The specific guidance that has been implemented in my life includes:
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Respecting the relationship between emotions/body performance and hormones more. Sometimes, feeling like crying over a small matter is not due to stress or childhood trauma; it is simply because my period is approaching. On days when I have no energy for exercise, it is not because my body has regressed or because I am lazy; it is just that my period is coming. I feel ashamed to admit that I have never experienced menstrual pain, and I have been a bit oblivious to many things. This year, I finally clarified the basic physiological knowledge of the different stages of the menstrual cycle. Knowing about PMS (premenstrual syndrome) has significantly reduced a lot of meaningless internal conflict.
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Having a healthier relationship with food. Although I have never engaged in extreme dieting, there was indeed a long period when I tried to eat lightly at home and felt a lot of psychological pressure when eating out, being very cautious about my intake of staple foods. However, after reading these two books, my views on diet have changed somewhat. The most important changes are in the selection of ingredients and their diversity. Do not sacrifice these two points to reduce the so-called calories of food. Whether eating out or cooking at home, prioritize fresh, natural, unprocessed foods; do not choose industrially made sliced cheese for sandwiches. When exercising, do not choose protein bars as supplements; eat real food—food that your grandmother would recognize as food. Occasionally eating out is fine, but try to avoid restaurants that serve pre-prepared dishes and choose dishes that are made using more traditional methods without excessive processing. Eating more staple foods is also fine; it is okay to feel full without feeling stuffed. A person does not need that much protein in a day. When cooking at home, use extra virgin olive oil for everything; it is fine to use more, depending on what you are cooking. Using a bit of lard is also okay; animal fats are quality fats. Sugar is not poison; sugar is a very natural food. Based on my current practices, I am simply enjoying my meals more. My weight has not decreased, but it has not increased either.
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Being more restrained in my choice of supplements. Both of these books take a relatively conservative stance on supplement intake. In my personal practice, I currently only retain the intake of vitamin D and magnesium (but I often forget to take them).
The Impact of AI on Life#
It seems necessary to write a small section discussing the changes AI has brought to my life; not addressing it would be like ignoring the elephant in the room.
In terms of technology, the term "vibe coding" has suddenly become popular, representing a paradigm shift in the entire programming industry. Although it is still unclear what qualitative changes in productivity this will bring, at least the work mode and the characteristics of the programming profession have significantly changed. However, I am still not worried about AI replacing my job because AI cannot help me bask in the sun.
The greatest help AI has provided to my personal life this year, and the area I have used it the most, is how chatgpt has helped me analyze my emotions, understand myself, and calibrate my life goals. During times of emotional turmoil, chatting with GPT has been very helpful. I pour out many subtle emotions to GPT, and it helps me clarify my thoughts, analyze the contradictions, and offer appropriate suggestions. I truly benefit from this approach. Understanding where emotions come from feels like half the emotional burden has already been lifted.
Others#
While writing the above content, I have become more aware that I am a person with a strong sense of boundaries. I rarely disclose my life; I am just continuously sharing my feelings. Only I know what intricate realities lie behind these feelings, but I am sorry that I cannot calmly narrate these stories. I have articulated many truths I have come to understand, but those that still confuse and trouble me are truly difficult to express. So, it is what it is.
Outlook for 2026#
Forming My Own Financial System#
A wish is becoming clearer—amidst the turbulent currents of the times, to be a clever, panicked mouse, establishing a small whirlpool with those who are important to me, safeguarding a temporary peace.
I still believe that wealth and poverty are not my concern, but I hope to have more control over what I possess. I think this is a necessary condition for realizing my wishes. I need to answer questions like how much money I have, how much I need, what my survival capabilities are, and how much risk tolerance I have.
A Healthier Body#
I still hope to have a stronger body, but this year I prefer to use the term "healthy." The cruelty of age on the body has always been very stark. I now understand that jumping higher, lifting heavier, and running faster are not the most important; what matters more is a comprehensive physical quality, which includes control over the body and the exercise of spirit and energy. I need to increase my joint mobility and improve my body's flexibility. I hope to master more knowledge related to exercise science, engage in more meditation, and learn more wisdom from Eastern martial arts.
A Broader World, More Graceful Navigation#
Since last year, I have begun to question the meaning of travel—spending unnecessary money to see things that can all be found online, to understand cultures that may not be deeper than what I could learn from books, and possibly even disrupting the normal lives of locals—what is the point? However, I still feel that there are aspects of travel that I desire. I need to clarify and amplify these experiences. After much contemplation, my current answer is this: on one hand, travel is my way of exploring the world. Although exploring landscapes and cultures can largely be done through reading or the internet, I hope that my exploration of the world ultimately connects with people. I want to feel more of my connection to this world; I want to know how the locals live in a place, what young people do, what middle-aged people do, and what elderly people do. On the other hand, when facing the vastness of the world, I can always see more facets of myself. I want to practice navigating this world more gracefully; I hope to get closer to the self I aspire to be, one who has "recognized the vastness of the universe, yet still cherishes the green of the grass and trees."
It is still difficult to answer what the significance of this is, and countless experiences have proven that matters involving people always come with the risk of hurt. Yet, it seems that my insatiable curiosity about the world prevails. Perhaps one day I will write and share my observations, but I do not wish to become a mere recorder of curiosities or the poverty and suffering of the world. I simply hope to satisfy my desire for expression through recording.
In the new year, I hope to improve my Spanish and better understand how this world operates.
Postscript#
The truths I have come to understand and the aspirations I have described may sound too abstract, but I sincerely believe that what I seek in this life is to be able to calmly say before I die, "This heart is bright; what more is there to say?" Although the journey may be arduous, the words of Xu Xiake always echo in my ears: "A true man should face the azure sea in the morning and the dark mountains in the evening."