Atlas

This article is a summary of the period from January 15, 2023, to January 21, 2023, written on the New Year's Eve when fireworks and firecrackers were intertwined.

Scenes#

Scene One

Continuous sparks roared out of the cannon in his hand, turning into fireworks in the night sky. It seems that there is no big difference between "no booms in the sky, only fireworks when we collide". Holding a Gatling gun, it turned out to be a real Gatling gun.

This scene is when I went out to set off fireworks and saw a child from the neighboring house about 3 meters away holding a handheld Gatling gun. I don't know where he bought the handheld Gatling gun from, but it seemed to have a particularly powerful firepower, stronger than what I usually see. This is also the first time I have seen someone play with a handheld Gatling gun up close. I noticed that before the fireworks in the sky bloom, there will be a small spark explosion in the sky about half a meter away from the cannon. When I focused my sight on the cannon and the explosion of the small spark, accompanied by the impact on the scene, I suddenly felt that the name "handheld Gatling gun" was really appropriate. I remembered the lyrics "no booms in the sky, only fireworks when we collide", but at that time I was thinking, why can't fireworks be used as booms? Maybe there is not much difference between the right to bear arms and the right to bear fireworks...

Scene Two

Swinging the sparkler while spinning the body, leaving a trail of sparks in the air, like a tail, like a windmill.

This scene is when I was playing with a handheld sparkler similar to a fairy wand, but the feeling of this firework was not as noisy or intense as the sparkler. It appeared clear and cool against the backdrop of the dark night. Being surrounded by the light curtain of fireworks, I suddenly had a sense of augmented reality - like a piece of equipment in a game that carries a trail of flames wherever it goes; and it also had a touch of fantasy novel feeling - as if I was controlling some advanced magical tool.

Life#

Sleeping pattern was similar to last week, still going to bed around four or five in the morning and waking up at noon, getting about seven and a half hours of sleep each day. In the first half of the week, I still had a slight stomachache at night (is it really a stomachache? I suddenly became unsure), but it improved slightly in the past two days.

One very happy thing is that I did my own hair again, following Tony's tutorial! Every time I mess with my hair, I think to myself, "Why am I doing this when it's so tiring?" and "I'll do it again next time." This time, I tried a fancy gradient design for the first time: my hair was originally all yellow (the color left after dyeing and fading), with a new black section at the roots. The technique I used was to bleach the roots of the bangs and bleach the previously bleached hair again to the lightest shade, and then dye the whole head pink. The final result is a gradient of pink-orange to light pink on the front half, and a gradient of black to pink on the back half.

Although it is the Spring Festival, death is still the theme of this land, and there are still constant bad news around. Fortunately, my grandfather was discharged from the hospital this week. He lost nearly twenty pounds in two weeks and his spirits are obviously not as good as before, but at least for now, it seems that he can continue to accompany my grandmother for a while longer. "Fortunate" is not an exaggeration. The doctor who usually treats my grandfather said that many patients she is responsible for have passed away this time, and many of them had milder symptoms than him. But besides "fortunate," I strongly feel his desire for life, just because he doesn't want to leave my grandmother alone.

Miscellaneous Thoughts#

Time

When I feel like "so many things have happened in just a few days," it doesn't necessarily mean that I have actually done a lot, and it may even mean that my actual work efficiency is low. It may be because many fresh and changing things force my brain to constantly switch contexts, making it seem like a lot has happened. And when I feel like "I haven't done much and yet so much time has passed," it doesn't necessarily mean that I haven't done anything, but it may actually be a kind of "steady as she goes" focus. I don't know if the Buddhist concept of "momentary eternity" is also referring to this. Although I prefer the experience of time flowing slowly, I should also realize that blindly pursuing this experience is not advisable - if I want more output and higher efficiency, I also need more monotonous experiences of "steady as she goes."

Feminism

When surfing the internet, I often come across the question "What do you wish your 18-year-old self knew?" I have never believed that the answers to such questions can really help young friends. If there are any truths we don't know, it's because we were limited by our cognition and perspective at that time. Even if we hear about these truths without experience, we still can't understand them. But recently, I suddenly had some insights, and I really wish my 18-year-old self could understand them. Let me write down my insights in the form of a letter to my 18-year-old self:

Dear, if you have a beloved man now, or if you have one in the future, I hope you can think about a question before bravely pursuing your love. Do you want to be his good friend? Or his girlfriend? These are two completely different things, completely different. Although I now know where the difference lies and why it is different, you still can't fully understand the answer I want to tell you, and you probably don't like to hear people talk about big truths. But if you start thinking from this question, I believe that you, who are smart, will understand better what you should do.

• Your self seven years later

The description is somewhat subtle because of personal privacy concerns, and I don't want to be too explicit here. In short, I want to say that I hope 18-year-old girls understand that if you want to be "his" girlfriend, I hope you first think about what you are willing to sacrifice, what you can gain, and whether what you can gain is really what you want - especially if "he" is at the center of a male alliance.

Information#

• This week, I read "The Room N Case" (《N 号房追踪记》).
  • In the past two weeks, I have been reading feminist-related books. Last week, I read "The Black Box: Japan's Shame," which happened in Japanese society. This week, I learned more about Korean society through the N Room incident. It seems that "the three countries of East Asia are holding hands, whoever achieves gender equality first is the dog." Whether from the perspective of writing or news reporting, this book is not as good as "Japan's Shame." After all, the initial reporters of this incident, the two authors of this book, are just graduating college students, and their experience and understanding of society are probably not as good as Shiori Ito's. But what touched me the most in this book is the sincere friendship and support between the two authors, which gave me a belief in the beauty of the world and made me feel that the world is not so desolate and lonely.
  • The similarity between these two books is that the authors are both journalists and involve a lot of discussions and descriptions from the perspective of news literacy, which has inspired me a lot.
  • One thing I didn't know before: in many countries, the conviction of child pornography can be achieved through entrapment (in addition, the "Anti-Drug Law" also allows entrapment).
  • There have been too many debates about the conflict between Telegram's representation of freedom of speech and the potential for crimes such as child pornography. In principle, I firmly stand on the side of freedom of speech, because without freedom of speech, any other so-called human rights could be another form of exploitation. My view is that technology should stand on the side of freedom of speech, and other social problems should be explored through other social methods. But this principled stance is naive and pale in the face of the complexity and darkness of reality...