War songs first.
"Why give birth, it's too painful," this is not entirely true. Of course, it is painful, but this is something I hope men can consider when discussing reproductive issues, rather than something I consider when deciding whether or not to have children.
On the one hand, my pain tolerance is pretty good, probably because my nerves are dull. I have never had any experience of being afraid of pain since I was young. On the other hand, I believe that my body will produce oxytocin, which will overshadow my complaints about pain with the happiness of giving birth to a new life.
No weak spots, this is important#
The main reason I don't want to have children is "no weak spots, this is important."
I became very aware of this when my sister-in-law talked about giving gifts to my nephew's teacher. My sister-in-law didn't want to give gifts, but my nephew would be targeted by the teacher at school because of this. My sister-in-law was very angry.
Just hearing about this kind of thing feels very tricky. If it was me being targeted by the teacher, I feel like it wouldn't matter how I handle it. Whether it's giving gifts in exchange for better treatment or insisting on not giving gifts and enduring the disdain, I feel like I am taking responsibility for myself and I believe I can bear the consequences. But my nephew is just a child who hasn't done anything wrong.
If I have a child, how should I handle such a situation? He is an independent individual, what right do I have to make decisions for him, whether to give gifts or not. But he hasn't grown into an independent individual yet, I have no choice, and I feel dirty. If it was me being targeted, I could calmly say that the heavens are heartless and the world is ruthless, that's just how the rules of this world are. But it's these innocent children who are being targeted, and I feel really dirty. I don't want to directly put myself in such a situation.
I have imagined that if I have a child, I will love him very, very much. Deep love can be armor, but it must also be a weak spot. I don't want to be in that situation, no weak spots, this is important.
I think this kind of thinking is selfish, not because I am selfish for not taking on the so-called "responsibility of continuing the human race." It's because I feel that this decision is made out of a mentality of avoiding responsibility. But I also don't think that if I give birth to a new life, I will no longer be a selfish person. I hope I am a generous person, but not through motherly love. I will continue to strive for it.
If the world born between my hips oppresses me, then I won't let this world be born#
Another reason is more feminist.
Everything in the world is a mix of blessings and misfortunes. On the one hand, I envy men for not having to suffer any hardships and being able to spread their seed everywhere to become fathers. But on the other hand, I am also glad that the uterus is inside me, I have the ultimate decision-making power, as long as I don't want to, no one can make me give birth and avoid the trouble of parenting disputes. The uterus being in women is a curse, but also a power. If I say I won't give birth, no one can make me.
Of course, technology is advanced now. Women who want to give birth can use surrogacy, those who don't want a husband can choose from a sperm bank, and those who only want a girl can have a test tube baby. But why bother? Why demand another life to accompany you in this oppressed world together. The burden is too heavy.
Speaking of this, I remember overhearing a conversation in a cafe where a group of people next to me started talking about politics and economics, and in the end, one of the men said, "Actually, I don't care about all these things, I just want to make our children's future a little better." At first, I felt a bit disgusted by their conversation, but in the end, I listened with a touch of sadness. Why bother, knowing that the world is like this, why bring them into this world?
Lastly, I often feel ironic. Once we advocated for eugenics and a happy life, but now we are the last generation. It's really ironic. As the birth rate declines, races gradually disappear, and humanity declines, so what? Humans will only be optimistic when they can see hope, and when there is no tomorrow, who cares about the raging flood behind them.
In addition: Since the adjustment of the weekly series, I feel happy every time I write, and I have found some of the joy of writing blogs in the beginning. It's really fun to write some subjective and unobjective nonsense that can't withstand scrutiny.