This article is a summary of the period from April 2, 2023, to April 15, 2023.
Life#
During these two weeks, there have been many miscellaneous matters in both life and work. There are many long stories, but it's hard to know where to start. Sleep continues to be squeezed, and there are still many unanswered questions. After more than three years, I have returned to HK, where the building is tall and the rain is heavy.
Thoughts on the so-called Web3 industry#
I increasingly understand the so-called Web3: project teams look at the investors, investors don't understand the projects, and in the end, everyone looks to Vitalik. Or project teams look at token holders, token holders look at token prices, and in the end, everyone is trying to gamble at the casino.
It's all tasteless.
Perhaps I would be angry, but in reality, this industry will never hurt my heart, because I strongly believe in myself. If you say Web3 is like this, fine, then I will do Web4. The world is not what it should be just because it is a certain way. Since I have had this belief, I have never hesitated for a second.
But I can't help but sigh - it's really lonely.
Another sigh came when I was reading "The Evolution of the Internet." I unexpectedly, but not surprisingly, found many similarities between Web3 and early Web1. They are both eras where naivety and sophistication, ideals and scams, intertwine. So don't talk about the unfinished ambition of the Internet, as if there was really some ambition that slowly died out - those so-called ideals that were filled with beautiful fantasies were never recognized by the mainstream. We can never go back to anywhere.
I insist on forcing myself#
It's as if I must find a way to acknowledge that all of this is my own choice. To have or to lose, to struggle or to sink, to resist or to endure... it's all my own choice. This is my way of narrating. I probably can't accept a life without any other choices. For me, such a life is not worth living. Even if it means pushing the rock endlessly, it must be my own choice (I feel like I have mentioned Sisyphus many times in my blog... I really like that story).
Is this pessimism or optimism?
I have indeed pondered this question, but I haven't come to a definitive answer. The final conclusion is probably that the binary division of personality is unreasonable. If I have to make a judgment, my self-identity is that of a pessimistic idealist.
Even if it's deception or performance, I must choose pessimism. I must deceive myself first and believe that all sentient beings are suffering without redemption. It seems that only by thinking this way can I find redemption. Only when all meaning is dissolved and only suffering remains, can I feel safe enough. And then, in this state, I can say that I want to pursue the light.
Oh, you see, I always say that we should meet in a place without darkness, but in reality, what I want is to indulge in the darkness, experiencing all the struggles and pain, and then telling myself that freedom comes at a price.
Input and Output#
As mentioned above, this week I have been reading "The Evolution of the Internet" and have read about half of it. It has been quite enlightening, and I plan to organize my reading notes in the future.
In addition, two weeks ago, I watched "Easy Rider," which tells the story of the confused and psychedelic generation in 1960s America. I don't know if it's because of the influence of this movie, or because I have felt a stronger sense of expansion and freedom since coming to HK, or maybe it's just the nature of the current era, but I have been more frequently caught in a social confusion.
Alcoholic? But at that time, I really wanted a drink.
I'm thinking of rereading J.D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye."
This weekly report may sound a bit sad... I haven't been in a good state recently. Ah, let's talk about something happy! I have started learning Cantonese on Duolingo recently (it's also part of my input). I have wanted to learn Cantonese for many years, and I have finally taken a small step towards it.